Disciple Together

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up” ~Galatians 6:9

Every Tuesday night for over a decade now, I’ve served. I’ve rarely looked forward to these evenings. If I’m truly honest, I may even dread them a little. Each evening has the potential for some hard and even truly heartbreaking happenings. 

Early on in my marriage, I began serving alongside my husband for a ministry called Kids & Friends. The purpose was to support and teach kids who were experiencing some form of trauma, like their parents’ divorce, or the loss of a loved one. 

We played games with these kids. We read stories and did activities. We prayed with them. And we experienced the whole gamut of challenging behaviours that you can imagine accompany children ages 6-12 who are walking through tough life stuff. 

We even dragged newborn babies along with us, when each of our three children were born. Thankfully we have close family  who were willing to take them when they got older, and we continued to serve. 

Then when Covid hit, our oldest son was just getting enrolled into his Wee College (baby Bible study) which was offered online. Since he was just four years old, I obviously needed to partake alongside him, to help keep focused. 

I was so thankful for that online experience. It gave me such a vivid picture of what it’s like to disciple with my kids. Because, here’s a little secret: I myself was not strong in my biblical knowledge. I didn’t grow up in the church, so had none of those childhood songs in my head, nor had I memorized the books of the Bible. I didn’t even know how many there were! (66, for those in my shoes)

Learning alongside my son gave me the chance to catch up in some ways, and to build the foundation I never had. There are many benefits to serving that we don’t always know ahead of time. 

Covid marked our transition from serving in Kids & Friends to another ministry, Wee College. When we went back to in-person classes, a couple of other moms and I decided to use Tuesday evening to gather instead of serve. It was a refreshing year, and the friendships we created in that year are so precious to me and to our children. We had definitely found some of ‘our people’ and we’ve stuck with them since. 

The following year, our youngest son was finally eligible for the course! (For those of you who haven’t done the math, this meant that each of our children would SIMULTANEOUSLY be in a program for 1.5 hours every Tuesday evening… aka DATE NIGHT! I dreamed of all of the glorious, uninterrupted time I’d have to pour into my marriage. I fantasized about conversations and walks and maybe even dinners out.  

Alas, that dream was not to be. 

God had a better one for me. 

Here’s what God’s dream for me looked like: When I called to inquire about First Year Wee College, the church informed me they weren’t going to run it, because they had no teacher. Well! I quickly identified their fatal flaw; they hadn’t asked me!

After discussing with my husband, he wholeheartedly agreed that helping to run Wee College was the right and God-honouring move. (My husband makes self-sacrificial service look so easy – I am always challenged by his example, and consider myself very lucky to have him) 

I made some calls to my amazing in-laws and before the end of the evening, I had let the church know that I was available to teach, and that my husband, Mother-in-law, brother- and sister-in-law and one of my friends were available to assist. 

But of course deciding to serve is easy; actually serving can be another story!

I showed up on the first night nervous but trusting. I had planned the lesson and done my best to prepare myself. What I didn’t prepare was… the children! Whoops! I completely overlooked the fact that many of these kids had never before been away from their parents for any length of time. There were meltdowns. There were potty accidents. There were tears. But there were also prayers, and songs and fun! By the end of that first evening, I was running high on adrenaline and excitement. 

Each night got a little easier, as I gained my bearings and learned to trust myself and to trust God. But I noticed that it never really did get easier to come. I always felt like I wanted to be elsewhere, at the beginning. And by the end, I always felt so glad, uplifted and energized! What was happening? 

“…let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross…” ~Hebrews 12:1-2 

“It is more blessed to give than to receive” ~Acts 20:35

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others” ~Philippians 2:3-4

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up” ~Galatians 6:9

“This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.” 1 John 3:16

Why this matters

As per usual, (and you’d think we would learn to expect this by now!) God’s Kingdom is truly opposite from what we expect and experience here on Earth. When we prioritize ourselves, and focus on trying to make ourselves feel better, we often don’t. Or at the very least, it’s not a deep and fulfilling joy but a fleeting feeling that needs to be chased over and over again. 

However, when we focus on others, we experience God’s original and ultimate design for us: we reflect His character, by connecting with and loving others. 

This is so important. We cannot say we follow Jesus unless we are serving, sacrificially. 

I get it though- it’s tough! Here are some helpful tools to get us over the aversion we may face: 

• Remember the “joy set before [us]’ (Hebrews 12:2) when we are obedient to God’s call to serve. Think of the outcome, and how you feel afterward. And the fact that the actions you take align with who you truly are.
• Pre-deciding. This can be very helpful for those who have a strong sense of integrity, and who would not go back on their word. But even if you struggle to keep commitments, it can be a useful tool, because with enough follow-through, you will experience…
• Automaticity. When we do something at the same time, in the same way on a regular basis, it eventually becomes automatic, and we get it FOR FREE. I love this reality so much. We don’t think about how we’re washing our hair, or how we’re brushing our teeth. All the micro-actions that make up those routines are habits. And we can form any kind of habit we want! So if that’s a habit of service, start doing it. 
• Pray for God’s joy. Have I felt joyful each time I’ve served? Definitely no. But I have grown in my joy as I’ve  chosen to faithfully serve. As with so many of the disciplines I’ve wanted to grow in, it’s been a slow, incremental process. Which is why it’s important to…
• Track and acknowledge progress! Journal about how you feel both before and after serving. Reflect back after a period of time. You can journal on paper, or perhaps by video, using an app like Marco Polo. Go back and listen to how you felt before serving, maybe during, and even after. 
• Get curious about your attitude. I know for me, I really have a strong sense of wanting to be acknowledged. (My husband does not!) and I’m curious about that. Why do I feel the need to be acknowledged? I know that God sees all my good deeds. So why do I need other to as well? (Spoiler: I’ve learned that I don’t). But I have learned that this leads me to a great strength: I am an excellent encourager! I frequently acknowledge people, build them up, and help them to feel good about the things they may not be acknowledging about themselves. Maybe this is why I have that deep sense of wanting acknowledgment: so that I prioritize giving it. Perhaps that is an important role I play in the body of Christ!